mooningremus | Aaron (hospital AU)

Remus woke up laying in a bed in the emergency room. "Where... am I?" he asked, his voice a croak.

"Ah, welcome back," said a woman standing by his bed. She was wearing a nurse's uniform. "You're in the hospital. A helpful bystander found you passed out on the sidewalk. You don't have any ID on you. What's your name?"

"Remus Lupin." He rubbed his head, and realized he was connected to an IV.

"It's saline," the nurse said. "You're severely dehydrated. Malnourished too from the looks of it though we're waiting for more bloodwork. Any medical conditions we should know about?"

"I'm HIV positive," Remus said with a sigh. "I... I'm so sorry about all this trouble. I'm fine, I probably just... haven't been taking care of myself..." Or more accurately, couldn't afford food.

"Well you should feel better once you're hydrated, and I'll send a doctor in to do a workup," the nurse said. "Rest."

Remus nodded, feeling like a complete idiot. Or maybe burden to society. Or something. And a few hours later he had a diagnosis of nothing worse than what the nurse had said. Though at least confirmation that his HIV status hadn't transformed into something worse. Sometimes he had trouble with food when the shelters were full, but he went to the HIV clinic to get his meds.

The nurse also kindly brought him some fresh clothes. He did feel better as he prepared to leave.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

quitollis

"Don't be a stranger?" Aaron suggested.

He'd grown very fond of their conversations and of Remus' company. Too fond, probably, so it was probably good that he would leave now. Before hd got used to hsving him around.

Still, Aaron had come to consider him a friend and wouldn't want to loose the friendship.

"I still want to beat you at chess some day," he joked lightly.

From:

mooningremus

Remus had been a bit pleased actually to so handily beat Aaron at chess when they'd played. "You can try,"he teased.

"I do know where yo find you," he said. "And I'll give you the address for me. I... don't want to be a stranger."

From:

quitollis

"Good," Aaron said and offered his hand to say goodbye. "Good luck, Remus. And if you need help finding a job, or you need a testimony... I'm sure a good word from a priest will help." well, in some cases.

(deleted comment)

From:

quitollis

It shouldn't, of course, but that kiss, chaste and friendly, lingered on his mind and didn't leave him be.

They slowly crept back, then, the urges he knew he should ignore... He felt powerless against them. But this longing would stay, he knew, until he did something about it.

So, once more, he found himself in search of someone to spend the night. He didn't like meeting at a bar, but the man on the phone insisted meeting in public first. Safety reasons. Aaron couldn't blame him for that.

He dressed plainly, left his collar and his God at home, and entered the bar to find the man seated in the booth as agreed upon.

He joined him with a brief smile and the same nerves he always felt. "Thank you for meeting me here."

"I understand. I booked the hotel next door."

The man moved until he was next to Aaron on the bench, close to him, and put a hand on Aaron's face. "Why don't you buy me a drink first? No rush, right? I'd love a drink." The other hand went to his thigh, squeezing it lightly.

Aaron smiled, though he knew he shouldn't. "One drink can't hurt."

From:

mooningremus

This particular bar was not particularly classy, perhaps why it was frequented by prostitutes and a number of vagrant alcoholics. And though Remus didn’t spend much time there himself it was a common spot for some acquaintances he’d garnered during his stats at shelters. And once he had a new place to stay he was looking to check on a few of them. Particularly Cade, a young prostitute who borrowed books from Remus.

Remus spotted him straight away. He also had company and so Remus wouldn’t interrupt but he thought he might just give him a wave to mutually acknowledge that they were both all right.

Except when Cade looked to him so did his companion.

Remus’ eyes went wide with surprise.

From:

quitollis

There was no way, Aaron thought, that he could brush this off as a visit in his capacity as priest. He wasn't wearing his collar, or even black clothes and the prostitute still had his hand on his thigh. "Don't worry, he's a fried," the man said, smiling, trying to calm his nervous client. "He's a dear. He just wants to make sure I'm safe. And I'm doing perfectly fine."

So, Remus clearly knew this man's profession, making this an even more compromising situation. "I'm sorry, I can't do this," he said, rushed, and got up to leave. He didn't dare looking Remus in the eye as he rushed to the exit.

From:

mooningremus

It took a moment for Remus to register what had just happened. At first he'd thought, oh no, Aaron doesn't know... but then he'd seen where Cade's hand was, and also Aaron's reaction seemed to confirm it.

Thrown for a loop, Remus mouthed a 'sorry' to Cade and then followed Aaron outside.

He caught to up him. Though then realized he didn't know what to say. "Aaron, I - I didn't come here looking for you..."

From:

quitollis

"No, I know. Of course not..." Aaron said, trying to find something to say and feeling cornered. But it was a situation of his own making. "I mean... This isn't where I suppose you'd expect to find me. I- " Don't want to talk about it. Want the earth to swallow me. Want to leave and never look back. "I'm sorry," came out instead.

From:

mooningremus

Remus didn't think this could possibly get more awkward.

"Don't apologize to me," he said. "There's no need, really, and I'm the one who... interrupted. I could - maybe I should just go. Though if you want to talk..."

From:

quitollis

"You didn't interrupt. He told me you look out for him. That's... very kind of you," Aaron said, hoping to make this less awkward by deflecting from his own failures.

From:

mooningremus

"I bring him books sometimes," said Remus. "He reminds me a bit of my former students. Er. Not his age, but imagining what they might be like now, I guess."

He hesitated, and then added, "Look, Aaron, even if... I mean... really, if you want to talk, I won't judge."

From:

quitollis

Aaron smiled, even in this state, reminded of what a kind and non-judgmental man Remus was. Finally, he nodded. "Let's go somewhere else, though."

From:

mooningremus

"All right," Remus said. "Whatever you like." He tried to smile reassuringly. Whatever was going on with Aaron, he was sure it was difficult. Because he knew with certainty that he wasn't simply a bad person.

From:

quitollis

They got outside and the air was quite refreshing. "Perhaps we can just walk," Aaron suggested.

From:

mooningremus

Remus nodded, and fell into step alongside him.

He didn't say anything, waiting for Aaron to speak. He didn't want to ask questions that Aaron didn't want to answer.

From:

quitollis

The silence made it uncomfortable and Aaron found he did want to talk, he just didn't know... what, or how. "I don't know what to say," he admitted. "I know you're not judgmental, but I'm sure you... have an opinion."

From:

mooningremus

"I'm only surprised," said Remus. "Beyond that... I just want you to be safe. Physically, emotionally..." Pause. "Spiritually."

From:

quitollis

"I tell myself it's just... physiology," Aaron admitted quietly. "Better that than temptation. If it's temptation, then I failed the test."

From:

mooningremus

“Is it?” Remus asked. “Just physiology? What about intimacy?”

From:

quitollis

Was he really that transparent? Did he truly look that desperate? "I made vows. They mean something." Which wasn't an answer.

From:

mooningremus

“I don’t care about that,” Remus said simply. “I care about you.” Pause. “But I understand that you care.”

From:

quitollis

Part of why Aaron wanted to walk was that he could keep his eyes to the road ahead, and not have to look at Remus. "I'm supposed to care," he said. "I feel very guilty that apparently I don't care enough. This... This wasn't the first time."