Aaron

[mooningremus]

Remus ate three sausages for breakfast. He was flushed; he tended to get a bit feverish before the full moon. And he managed to get through a morning class without saying a word to anyone, for fear of losing his temper over the smallest thing.

He was also avoiding Aaron as best he could, but when he went back to the room after class, when he thought Aaron would be out, he discovered he was wrong.

"I thought you'd be at practice," he blurted.

Comments

[quitollis]

"No.. Or, I mean, it hurt, but that was the pleasure of it," Aaron admitted. "It felt so intense that it was hard to distinguish. And when you were... inside me... yeah, it was a bit of a sensory overload."

[mooningremus]

Remus stroked his hand along Aaron's bare leg. "I was scared to let myself go like that," he said quietly. "I still am. But god, I'm relieved. That it was okay."

[quitollis]

"I'm glad you enjoyed it too," Aaron admitted. Remus always seemed a little pliant and he was really pleased that he could be different too. "You, I mean and not just the wolf."

[mooningremus]

"I did," said Remus hastily. "It felt amazing. I just - I would have taken more care. That could have gone badly." If he hadn't liked it.

[quitollis]

"You took plenty of care," Aaron assured him. "What you did with your tongue... God, that was intense."

He hugged Remus close. "We can do it again some day... See how it's like when there's not a full moon."

[mooningremus]

Suddenly tears pricked at Remus' eyes. "Why can't I just be normal."

[quitollis]

"What?" Aaron said, surprised at this sudden change. "I didn't mean I didn't like it now. I just thought we might try it on different occasions. To compare or... I don't know. I'm not very good at talking about this stuff... sorry."

[mooningremus]

"No, no, I don't mean that..." Remus said hastily, sounding a little choked up. "I just - I don't want any of it. I don't want to be afraid of myself. And I don't want to leave you tonight and go to that horrible place where it - it hurts and..." He couldn't finish.

[quitollis]

Aaron held his face in his hands and kissed him, gently. "I wish I could help you. Want me to... stay nearby? I could camp outside..."

[mooningremus]

"I won't know you're there," Remus said softly. "And it would probably only be.... upsetting, to you."

[quitollis]

"You'll know when you go in," Aaron said. "And you'll know in the morning when you wake up again. And if that's part of you... then I don't want to pretend it's not there."

[mooningremus]

"I want to pretend it's not there," Remus mumbled. But then looked at him. "But... but okay. If you want to."

[quitollis]

Aaron kissed him again. "I want to."

[mooningremus]

His sweetness almost made Remus want to cry again. "Okay."

[quitollis]

Aaron hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. "Let's just stay here for a while, until it's time."

[mooningremus]

"I also don't want you to get in trouble," Remus said quietly, leaning against him. "I'll go talk to the headmasteer, make sure it's okay."

[quitollis]

"Maybe we can both go?" Aaron suggested.

[mooningremus]

"Sure, if you like," said Remus. "He's always been very kind."

[quitollis]

They stayed like that for a while, but it would be a full moon tonight and Remus did need to get ready for that.

So, eventually, they freshened up, and made their way to the head master.

[lepidopterologist]

"Ah, Mr. Lupin," said Harry. Then - "Oh, and Mr. Nicols. Come in." He opened the door to his office wider.

"Good afternoon, headmaster," said Remus politely. "It um. As you may know, it's a full moon tonight. Aaron wanted - Aaron was wondering if - do you think it would be okay to stay with me? Outside?'

Harry's expression softened and he looked tto Aaron. "That's a kind offer."

[quitollis]

"I just don't want him to be alone," Aaron shrugged. "When he wakes up."

[mooningremus]

"And you want this?" Harry asked Remus, who nodded.

"I want him to know everything," he said quietly.

Harry nodded as well. "I might also wonder if his presence... well, we have hoped to find strategies for helping you, Mr. Lupin. I wonder if his presence might calm you."

[quitollis]

Aaron hoped that too. He wanted Remus to suffer as little as possible. "It's worth a try," he agreed.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry hesitated, and then said, "There is a window, in the building. I've hidden it with magic. We could undo that... if that's what you both want."

[quitollis]

Aaron looked at Remus. "Only if that's okay with you," he said, not wanting Remus to feel uncomfortable by that.