Aaron

[mooningremus]

Remus ate three sausages for breakfast. He was flushed; he tended to get a bit feverish before the full moon. And he managed to get through a morning class without saying a word to anyone, for fear of losing his temper over the smallest thing.

He was also avoiding Aaron as best he could, but when he went back to the room after class, when he thought Aaron would be out, he discovered he was wrong.

"I thought you'd be at practice," he blurted.

Comments

[quitollis]

"It hurts, a bit," Aaron admitted, not wanting to lie. "But... I really liked it. I've never been-..." Manhandled like that before. Though he couldn't quite say it. "Didn't know I could like that, but...I did."

[mooningremus]

"Really? That was okay? Good, even?" Remus put his arm around Aaron. "I feel... so much calmer now." Even his skin felt slightly less feverish.

[quitollis]

Aaron had let go of his shame for a bit, but now it was coming back. It was so difficult to talk about these things. "It was..." Aaron lay back, letting Remus to rest against him. It was better like this, because he could talk while looking at the ceiling instead of having to look at Remus.

"It was really good. I mean, it did hurt, but... It also felt great. I mean, really, really good. When you got a little... rougher. I liked that."

[mooningremus]

"Really?" Remus looked genuinely surprised.

[quitollis]

"Yeah," Aaron admitted, voice a little small because he was a bit ashamed to admit it. "When you... eh... bit me. I nearly came from that alone."

[mooningremus]

“Yeah?” Remus was still a little startled, but he turned to look at Aaron’s back. There were teeth marks. “Was it because it hurt or…?”

[quitollis]

"No.. Or, I mean, it hurt, but that was the pleasure of it," Aaron admitted. "It felt so intense that it was hard to distinguish. And when you were... inside me... yeah, it was a bit of a sensory overload."

[mooningremus]

Remus stroked his hand along Aaron's bare leg. "I was scared to let myself go like that," he said quietly. "I still am. But god, I'm relieved. That it was okay."

[quitollis]

"I'm glad you enjoyed it too," Aaron admitted. Remus always seemed a little pliant and he was really pleased that he could be different too. "You, I mean and not just the wolf."

[mooningremus]

"I did," said Remus hastily. "It felt amazing. I just - I would have taken more care. That could have gone badly." If he hadn't liked it.

[quitollis]

"You took plenty of care," Aaron assured him. "What you did with your tongue... God, that was intense."

He hugged Remus close. "We can do it again some day... See how it's like when there's not a full moon."

[mooningremus]

Suddenly tears pricked at Remus' eyes. "Why can't I just be normal."

[quitollis]

"What?" Aaron said, surprised at this sudden change. "I didn't mean I didn't like it now. I just thought we might try it on different occasions. To compare or... I don't know. I'm not very good at talking about this stuff... sorry."

[mooningremus]

"No, no, I don't mean that..." Remus said hastily, sounding a little choked up. "I just - I don't want any of it. I don't want to be afraid of myself. And I don't want to leave you tonight and go to that horrible place where it - it hurts and..." He couldn't finish.

[quitollis]

Aaron held his face in his hands and kissed him, gently. "I wish I could help you. Want me to... stay nearby? I could camp outside..."

[mooningremus]

"I won't know you're there," Remus said softly. "And it would probably only be.... upsetting, to you."

[quitollis]

"You'll know when you go in," Aaron said. "And you'll know in the morning when you wake up again. And if that's part of you... then I don't want to pretend it's not there."

[mooningremus]

"I want to pretend it's not there," Remus mumbled. But then looked at him. "But... but okay. If you want to."

[quitollis]

Aaron kissed him again. "I want to."

[mooningremus]

His sweetness almost made Remus want to cry again. "Okay."

[quitollis]

Aaron hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. "Let's just stay here for a while, until it's time."

[mooningremus]

"I also don't want you to get in trouble," Remus said quietly, leaning against him. "I'll go talk to the headmasteer, make sure it's okay."

[quitollis]

"Maybe we can both go?" Aaron suggested.

[mooningremus]

"Sure, if you like," said Remus. "He's always been very kind."

[quitollis]

They stayed like that for a while, but it would be a full moon tonight and Remus did need to get ready for that.

So, eventually, they freshened up, and made their way to the head master.