Aaron

[mooningremus]

Remus ate three sausages for breakfast. He was flushed; he tended to get a bit feverish before the full moon. And he managed to get through a morning class without saying a word to anyone, for fear of losing his temper over the smallest thing.

He was also avoiding Aaron as best he could, but when he went back to the room after class, when he thought Aaron would be out, he discovered he was wrong.

"I thought you'd be at practice," he blurted.

Comments

[mooningremus]

Suddenly tears pricked at Remus' eyes. "Why can't I just be normal."

[quitollis]

"What?" Aaron said, surprised at this sudden change. "I didn't mean I didn't like it now. I just thought we might try it on different occasions. To compare or... I don't know. I'm not very good at talking about this stuff... sorry."

[mooningremus]

"No, no, I don't mean that..." Remus said hastily, sounding a little choked up. "I just - I don't want any of it. I don't want to be afraid of myself. And I don't want to leave you tonight and go to that horrible place where it - it hurts and..." He couldn't finish.

[quitollis]

Aaron held his face in his hands and kissed him, gently. "I wish I could help you. Want me to... stay nearby? I could camp outside..."

[mooningremus]

"I won't know you're there," Remus said softly. "And it would probably only be.... upsetting, to you."

[quitollis]

"You'll know when you go in," Aaron said. "And you'll know in the morning when you wake up again. And if that's part of you... then I don't want to pretend it's not there."

[mooningremus]

"I want to pretend it's not there," Remus mumbled. But then looked at him. "But... but okay. If you want to."

[quitollis]

Aaron kissed him again. "I want to."

[mooningremus]

His sweetness almost made Remus want to cry again. "Okay."

[quitollis]

Aaron hugged him close and kissed the top of his head. "Let's just stay here for a while, until it's time."

[mooningremus]

"I also don't want you to get in trouble," Remus said quietly, leaning against him. "I'll go talk to the headmasteer, make sure it's okay."

[quitollis]

"Maybe we can both go?" Aaron suggested.

[mooningremus]

"Sure, if you like," said Remus. "He's always been very kind."

[quitollis]

They stayed like that for a while, but it would be a full moon tonight and Remus did need to get ready for that.

So, eventually, they freshened up, and made their way to the head master.

[lepidopterologist]

"Ah, Mr. Lupin," said Harry. Then - "Oh, and Mr. Nicols. Come in." He opened the door to his office wider.

"Good afternoon, headmaster," said Remus politely. "It um. As you may know, it's a full moon tonight. Aaron wanted - Aaron was wondering if - do you think it would be okay to stay with me? Outside?'

Harry's expression softened and he looked tto Aaron. "That's a kind offer."

[quitollis]

"I just don't want him to be alone," Aaron shrugged. "When he wakes up."

[mooningremus]

"And you want this?" Harry asked Remus, who nodded.

"I want him to know everything," he said quietly.

Harry nodded as well. "I might also wonder if his presence... well, we have hoped to find strategies for helping you, Mr. Lupin. I wonder if his presence might calm you."

[quitollis]

Aaron hoped that too. He wanted Remus to suffer as little as possible. "It's worth a try," he agreed.

[lepidopterologist]

Harry hesitated, and then said, "There is a window, in the building. I've hidden it with magic. We could undo that... if that's what you both want."

[quitollis]

Aaron looked at Remus. "Only if that's okay with you," he said, not wanting Remus to feel uncomfortable by that.

[mooningremus]

Remus looked down at his hands.

"It's your decision," said the headmaster quietly.

Finally, Remus nodded. "All right. Yes." He looked at Aaron. "But I want you to leave if you're uncomfortable."

[quitollis]

"Promise," Aaron said. He wanted to take Remus' hand and squeeze it, to reassure him, but in the presence of Hart, he didn't.

[mooningremus]

Harry looked at them for a moment, warmly. As if it made him happy to see... well, whatever it was he saw in them. Remus hadn't taken him for a romantic.

"Come along then," he said. "It's near enough that we may as well get started."

And when he went for the door and the pair followed behind him, Remus did take Aaron's hand.

[quitollis]

Aaron smiled and squeezed Remus' hand. He nodded, to reassure him wordlessly that it would be okay. Well, he would be. He remembered the last full moon he'd heard Remus... he wasn't looking forward to hearing it again, but he hoped his presence might help.

[mooningremus]

When they got to the shack, Harry walked around it to the back and cast a spell. A large, wood-framed window appeared.

"The wolf will be able to see out as well," Harry said to Aaron. "It is possible that could be agitating. If you think it is making things worse..." And then he gave him a trigger word to trigger the spell again and hide the window.

"And you come get me if there is any trouble at all. Do you understand?"