mooningremus | Aaron (hospital AU)

Aaron (hospital AU)

Remus woke up laying in a bed in the emergency room. "Where... am I?" he asked, his voice a croak.

"Ah, welcome back," said a woman standing by his bed. She was wearing a nurse's uniform. "You're in the hospital. A helpful bystander found you passed out on the sidewalk. You don't have any ID on you. What's your name?"

"Remus Lupin." He rubbed his head, and realized he was connected to an IV.

"It's saline," the nurse said. "You're severely dehydrated. Malnourished too from the looks of it though we're waiting for more bloodwork. Any medical conditions we should know about?"

"I'm HIV positive," Remus said with a sigh. "I... I'm so sorry about all this trouble. I'm fine, I probably just... haven't been taking care of myself..." Or more accurately, couldn't afford food.

"Well you should feel better once you're hydrated, and I'll send a doctor in to do a workup," the nurse said. "Rest."

Remus nodded, feeling like a complete idiot. Or maybe burden to society. Or something. And a few hours later he had a diagnosis of nothing worse than what the nurse had said. Though at least confirmation that his HIV status hadn't transformed into something worse. Sometimes he had trouble with food when the shelters were full, but he went to the HIV clinic to get his meds.

The nurse also kindly brought him some fresh clothes. He did feel better as he prepared to leave.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No, no, you didn't," Aaron said, rushed. "You couldn't. I just... I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. You're being very kind and I..." He sighed.

Remus looked at him for a moment and then said quietly, "I would be happy to kiss you, Aaron, if I didn't think it would hurt you."

Aaron smiled again him. "See, you're so kind..." he said mostly to himself. "I'm sorry I made things awkward."

"It makes me happy that you wanted to kiss me," Remus said softly. "But... I don't want to be the cause of your conflict and pain."

The pause was long before Aaron began to speak. "I went to the seminary thinking it would be no problem. I had no interest in girls anyway," he began, slowly, thinking as he spoke. "God should be enough. It pains me that... He's not. But that is between God and me, and it's got nothing to do with you. You're the cause of... me wanting to kiss you again and- hold you." He looked at Remus then. "You're nothing but lovely and- beautiful."

Remus blushed. He didn't believe that at all, but did believe Aaron when he said it.

He also didn't want Aaron to think it was one-sided, even if that might make it even harder. "Aaron, I was feeling things for you that I assumed were wholly inappropriate. But I'm well practiced at hiding such feelings. And I respect however you want to handle this." He bit his lip. "Perhaps we should have had this discussion before you invited me to stay here, though."

"I didn't exactly plan it..." Aaron admitted, a bit sheepish. "I just wanted you around."

Remus nodded. He folded his hands in front of him then and said, "If you tell me that you are a priest, and we can be friends and nothing more, I accept that completely and would be happy for your friendship."

Aaron regarded him. "Would you give me some time to... figure it out. I've-... God, this is... new. I've never felt like this about anyone and it's... I need some time."

I've never felt this way about anyone. That was enormously flattering and was not doing much to assuage Remus' own feelings. But he'd meant it when he said he could push those feelings away. He would rather have Aaron's friendship than nothing at all.

"Of course," he said. "Take all the time you need. I, ah... I won't bring it up. Unless you do."

Aaron wondered if he was coming on too strong, but he had no frame of reference and he means what he said. Probably, he was only now allowing these feelings to come through.

"You will still stay here, though, won't you?"

"If you want me to, I would like that very much," said Remus.

He hesitated, and then he said, "I also just want to say... Aaron, as you think about what you want, I also just want to remind you, that when it comes to me, you should... remember that my HIV status is part of the package. There's no use pretending it's a non-issue. We don't need to talk about any of that now, I just don't want you to overlook that."

Aaron went a little shy at that, but nodded.

He didn't think he should kiss Remus again, though he wanted to.

"Thank you... also for understanding."

"You've done so much for me already," Remus said, his eyes soft and affectionate. "You're one of the kindest people I've ever met. I wouldn't want to do anything that would hurt you."

"You're not hurting me," Aaron assured him. "I mean, you're making me question the fabric of my being, but I suppose that is something I should have addressed a long time ago. It just wasn't... very pressing. Until now."

"I'm not sure whether to be flattered or horrified," Remus teased. "Well. For now why don't we just... take up where we left off. Get the sheets back out?"

Aaron nodded. And then he thought they should go buy a spare bed tomorrow, so Remus would be more comfortable. And then he thought - by accident - that maybe they didn't need a spare bed because Remus could sleep in his. And then his thoughts went down a bit of a gutter and he realized he was thinking about getting a king sized bed.

"Yes," he said, and quickly went to make work of that.

Remus wondered if he should wait, before giving up his bed in transitional housing. But no, he shouldn't keep a bed empty when someone else could use it, and... well, he thought this was worth the risk.

He would, however, wait until tomorrow. He wanted to at least give Aaron an opportunity to sleep on it.

Aaron came back with sheets and saw a flicker of something in Remus face. "Are you sure? I don't want you to feel you should accept the offer. I understand it if you prefer the transitional housing."

"I don't prefer it," Remus said quickly. "I just... I want you to sleep on it, at least. And if you're still feeling all right about the offer in the morning, I'll give up my spot and make someone else's day."

Aaron nodded. He felt a bit disappointed, but perhaps he was coming on too strongly. They both needed time, probably.

"Yes, of course. Will you stay for another glass of wine, or...?"

Remus blinked at him. "Oh, I just meant... I though I should wait until I officially tell them they can give my bed to someone else. I just - thought you should sleep on it. I thought I could still stay here tonight. I mean, if that's okay - I also understand if you want some distance to think."

"Oh, no!" Aaron said quickly. "No, I thought you changed your mind. I'd love it if you stayed - I mean..." Well, what did he mean except exactly what he said? "Yes. Stay."

“Well, we might as well drink the wine then,” said Remus with a little smile.

Aaron nodded. "Wine is an excellent answer," he teased a little, smiling more assured now that he knew Remus would stay.

(no subject)

mooningremus - 2022-04-30 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

quitollis - 2022-04-30 07:34 (UTC) - Expand

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only