mooningremus

Wyn

Remus was trying to act fine. To act normal. Like everything was fine. For Aaron.

But at the same time, every time he looked at him, the fear and guilt slammed into him. And the full moon inched closer and closer. The headmaster said there was no way to know for sure, before that. That they would have to just wait and see.

And one day, after holding it in all morning while talking to Aaron, thinking about how quickly the days were passing...

He said goodbye to Aaron as he headed to practice, and then slipped behind a corner and... collapsed against the wall and started to weep. A week's worth of emotion suddenly slipping out at once.

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Remus looked down. "We won't know until the full moon. And I just... I can't stand the thought. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy... and he's... he's... I love him so much. If I hurt him like that I could never forgive myself."

"Remus, you didn't mean to, and I'm certain Aaron knows that. And, you know, he might be fine..." Wyn offered, even though everything he knew about werewolves said otherwise. Still, as long as there was hope, that was something to hold onto.

"Aaron would never blame me," Remus sad softly. "He's so kind, so wonderful, I..." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Wyn. You caught me in a very bad moment."

"Don't apologize," Wyn replied, shaking his head. "Though if you'd like some space, I understand," he offered.

He hadn't meant to intrude.

"No, it's okay," Remus assured him. "I mean, I haven't really been able to... talk about it... almost no one even knows I'm a werewolf. And can't talk to Aaron, he just tells me not to worry. But how can I not?"

"I suppose you have to ask yourself what worrying will accomplish," Wyn said softly. "From outside looking in, I'd say nothing, all it's doing is hurting you. You can undo what happened, all you can do is focus on what you can do. You can be here for him, you can prepare him for the worst case scenario- You can even indulge in the idea of having company during the full moon. I don't mean to sound cold, I'm not blind to the hurt you must be carrying right now, but I do really believe the best thing you can do for yourself and for Aaron is make plans. Don't wallow in the 'what if', plan for the worst and decide how you can make it easier for you both long term."

Remus knew he was probably right. "Aaron said that too, that at least I wouldn't have to be alone. But I would never want that. I could never be that selfish." He sighed. "But you're right, we're planning. The headmaster is helping. To monitor him during the full moon." Apparently he was planning to put up some kind of barrier in the shack, so they could both be there but keep them separated so that Aaron wouldn't be in danger if he didn't change.

He managed to offer Wyn a small smile. "But other than this little snag... everything has been so wonderful."

"I think that's what you've got to hold onto then, don't you? Happiness is rare and fleeting, Remus. You have to hold onto it with both hands, no matter what," Wyn said.

Remus tried to focus on the good for a moment, and he beamed. "I just feel so lucky. He's wonderful. Perfect."

"He adores you, you should see the look in his eyes when he brings you up," Wyn smiled.

Remus bit his lip. "It's all a little unbelieveable. I mean I went from my first kiss to... um. Everything! And to someone loving me. Was it like this for you?"

"No," Wyn admitted. "Love is sort of new, but the other stuff not so much. I suppose, in a way, I did it a bit backwards, you know?"

"Oh.... right. I mean I guess I was kind of unusual that way." Then Remus looked genuinely curious, and asked, "IS it better? When you're in love?"

"It's... Not better, but different. There is an excitement to just being with someone who wants you in that moment. It's a different feeling than being with someone you love. But I don't know if one is better than the other."

Remus just nodded. He had no frame of reference of course, but it seemed rude to ask for anymore detail. "And how are things with you?" he asked instead.

"Good. I'm good," Wyn said, though he wasn't really sure he was. "I've been very focused on my studies, and I have an audition coming up for a show..."

"Yeah?" Remus said. "That's so cool... is that what you're going to do after? Act? I confess I've hardly given any thought to what I'll do with the rest of my life. Though sometimes I think I'd like to teach."

"All I've ever wanted to do is act," Wyn said, his tone painfully sincere. "I love it. I didn't want to leave America, but I knew I needed to have full control over my magic if I was going to work with humans. That's the only reason I'm here at all. If I could be I'd still be on stage or filming..."

"It must be kind of reassuring, to have a plan," Remus said. "To know what you'll do with your life. Do you think... Hex would come with you? If you went back to America?"

"We've talked about it a little, and he seems keen. Though I know he wants to pursue a career as a nurse," Wyn added.

"Oh I think he'd be a wonderful nurse," said Remus fondly. "Well that's the sort of job you can do everywhere right?"

"I suppose so, yeah," Wyn nodded. "And yeah, he's brilliant, a natural caregiver."

Remus smiled. "Maybe I should ask him to start coming by after the full moons. I hate spending the day in the nurse's office."

Wyn prickled a little at that, not keen on the idea at all.

"Well he's not a nurse yet, that would be weird," he replied, perhaps a bit tartly.

Remus blinked at him, not quite understanding why Wyn reacted that way. "Oh, um. I just meant - yeah, no, you're right. I mean, it's just bruises and scratches anyway, not that bad."

"If that's all it is, I'm not sure why you'd want my boyfriend as your private nurse," Wyn replied, still looking slightly annoyed by the idea.

"Um." Remus still seemed a bit taken aback. "I just - I didn't mean anything by it, Wyn. I'm not... interested in Hex, if that's what it sounded like. I love Aaron."

"That's absolutely what it sounded like," Wyn replied, looking a bit annoyed a beat longer, then sighing. "Whatever. ...Sorry. I just- I love him. And one day someone else is going to catch his eye, and I'm not trying to speed up that process, alright? The only person I want Hex nursing is me, yeah?"

Remus looked genuinely wounded. "I just... I didn't..." And he really hadn't.

But then he thought of how he felt about Aaron, how if he had the chance to be with another boy, why would he still want Remus?

He looked down. "I get it, though. I have the same fear about Aaron."

Wyn nodded a little, picking at a stray thread hanging from the cuff of his sweater sleeve.

"Well for whatever it's worth, I won't ask him to be my private tutor or anything."

Remus looked uncomfortable. "Of course. Well, um. I think you're right, I should... go talk to him. About the werewolf thing."

Wyn nodded, chewing his bottom lip.

"I'm sorry if I was unkind, I didn't mean to be," he said softly.

"No, it's just..." Remus wasn't entirely sure what to say. "Just. I'm your friend, yeah? I hope you know that. Your friendship means a lot to me."

"You're my friend too. I'm just... I've not had many, I guess. Most people, I find, just want something from me," Wyn admitted.

"All I want is your friendship," Remus promised him.

"Well... You have it," Wyn said quietly.

"I'm glad," said Remus gently. "Well, I do think... I'm going to go talk to Aaron. Thank you for listening."

"Yeah, no, of course," Wyn nodded. "...He adores you," he added after a beat. "You should know that, yeah? He talks about you, and it's so clear- He loves you, Remus."

Remus blushed, looking pleased. "Thank you for that. And I... I love him, too. More than I knew I could."

"That's beautiful," Wyn said simply, offering a small smile.

"I'll see you around, Wyn," Remus said fondly, and patted his shoulder, before heading off to find Aaron.

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Wyn

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